Former World class shemale sprinter, Marion Jones is out of Prison and is headed For the WNBA. Marion has been out of the sport of Basketball for nearly 13 years but WBA is desperate for attention and talent. “It would give me an opportunity to share my message to young people on a bigger platform” says Jonz. A bigger platform no, but a bigger paycheck yes. Oh well, nobody wants drug cheats in track anyway, you can have her WNBA.

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Bloody Hell I have swine flu. My lab results are back and it turns out I wasn’t yoking around, I seriously do have H1NI. My mother of course thinks I’m dying and my grandmother is hysterical. My father actually called me, which is an improvement .I am fine though, really I am. I think, or at least I hope that the worst is over so I can get back to normal life. I am more sick of being quarantine than I am of actually being sick. I keep daydreaming about going outside and being productive, but then crazy fever thoughts kick in and I dream about using my swine flu for evil purposes and infecting my enemies. I am so behind in school and I haven’t run all week so I’m super stressed out. The Mrs. left me to go home for Launch, which I think is for the best so she doesn’t get infected, but it just sucks having no human interaction. I tried to go running this morning ( bad idea) and during the run I imagined of how badass it would be if some guy off the street tried to mug me and  steal my ipod or something. I would totally get destroyed because I’m weak and I have f-ing swine flu, but when all is said and done I would hand over my ipod and spit in the guys face. The man would totally get swine flu from me and would totally have to pawn my ipod to get medical attention but it wouldn’t be enough because my ipod is broke, so he would probably just die because his immune system sucks; yup, thats how it would happen. OK I need to rest my mind is melting again.

So it turns out being sick is really boring. I can’t study because my brain won’t function properly, hence the strange blog posts. I sit and try to watch TV( Netflix on my laptop since we don’t have a TV), and I get sleepy, freezing and even more sickly feeling. Even though I have a temperature of 102.3 I can’t seem to get warm so I burry myself under every blanket in the house but then the chills wear off and I find myself drenched in sweat under a foot of blankets. One of the few productive things I did today was look at all of my wife’s facebook pictures. And yes, this was productive. I have included a few of my favorites so everyone can enjoy my wife’s splendor. She is the most beautiful, funny and caring person I know. I love her, and am so lucky to be married to my best friend.

Eternity will not have one dull moment. If you still have doubts then read her blog.

I stayed home from school today because I think I might have swine flu. I feel like crap, and can’t move but it’s all kind of exciting at the same time. The more probable conclusion would be that I have the normal flu, so I’ll just wait to see how the symptoms manifest. I went priesthood session at the conference center on saturday night, so Its highly probable that I could have been infected there. The conference center has a capacity of about 22,000, so at least one of them had to have been infected. I also attended the Haunted Forrest and most likely got infected by this guy. ———>    I sure do hope the projectile vomit and diarrhea symptoms don’t manifest in me. today was spent sleeping, downloading music and cuddling with Blaircat. She, unlike the dog in I am Legend, is not susceptible to viral outbreaks. At least not H1N1

On a happier note, BYU Cross Country beat Oregon, The #1 ranked team in the country, at the Dellinger invite on friday. The message boards are filled with a bunch douche canoes complaining that our runners are older than everyone else.  They really do not believe us when we say we don’t train on our missions. Anyway, let their bigotry continue, it doesn’t take away from the fact that we beat Oregon. I wish I was there in the race but I did not run at the Dellinger due to my poor performance in Riverside. I still hate Riverside. It is awesome to be apart of such an amazing team. I hope I get over the swine flu soon so I can compete again this season.

Our photographer has finally finished our pictures!!!  For all you who weren’t there, here is a taste of the magic that went down on that beautiful day.

PS more pictures can be found here at our photographer’s blog. Enjoy.

The city of Riverside is cursed. It’s like this city knows that I am coming and plans for bad things to happen to me. This weekend was no exception. I came, it attacked me, and I left with even greater hated towards it than ever before. I hope that I never have to go back.

When the team travels we always end up getting really nice rental cars. I think the track team is on the Gold Presidential membership with Hertz or some crazy shiz like that. So Instead of the big white 15 passenger vans that other teams cruise around in, we get  hooked up with like three Volvos. It’s pretty sick. On the way from the airport to our hotel I was late on calling driver, or shotgun, or even window for that matter and  I was stuck in the middle of the back  seat next to Travis, who needs to spread his legs 4 feet apart to give the “Illusion” of a larger package. He’s not fooling anyone, we all shower together. The drive was miserable and hot and long. Traffic was horrible and what should have been a 40 minute drive turned into three hours. FML. I should have known this was going to be a miserable trip, it was riverside afterall.

Early races are never my style but in Riverside where temperatures in late September easily get above 100 degrees you don’t have much choice. The course was on a dirt path around some dirty orange grove, all dirt since  grass doesn’t grow in Riverside. The shoes of choice for such surface is the Nike Zoom Katana and it It just so happened that I had a brand new pair. I usually race without socks, many runners do and i’m not exactly sure why. Some say to make them lighter but I think thats just ridiculous. Anyway I think I bought into that back in high school and have been doing it ever since, and now my feet are super callused not too unlike african boys. So running without socks doesn’t usually give me any problems, but for whatever reason this new pair of shoes sliced right through those calluses and gave me some of the worst blisters of my young life. With a mile and a half left of the race a newly formed blister on my right heel ripped open and caused me some serious pain. I thought about dropping out but I couldn’t, I have never dropped out of a race and wasn’t going to start then. Plus it just looks so hardcore when someone finished a race and their foot is covered in blood, even if that person does finish in dead last.

My feet the evening after the race.

Notice the dark spot on the heel. Yeah thats blood.

So the race sucked. My cross country season may or may not be over since I finished dead last for my team and only top 12 typically travel. I blame Riverside (not my shoes). If it were like any other cross country race the course would have been on grass, but like I said grass doesn’t grow in Hell Riverside. One good things is that BYU ended up destroying the competition and winning the Invitational. Results found here.

Just when I thought the people of Utah couldn’t get any more tragic, they go and do something like this…. and totally redeem themselves. Black Island Farms in Syracuse Utah have truly outdone themselves this year by making a corn maze with a  Twilight New Moon theme. It baffles me  how someone would even go about creating such a thing. Some would call it art. I know I would. I so badly want to go, even goggle mapped the distance (72.5 mi), but Rachael says we shouldn’t encourage such people. Oh man I bet I could set a twilight maze course record.

I have been married for a whole month now and words can’t describe how awesome it is.

This picture sort of does.

With All the wedding festivities I came into this XC season a titch out of shape. Training camp was bad, the next week I got deathly ill and that was even worse,but I am determined to make a comeback. I didn’t race in the Autumn Classic but Saint Eyestone has blessed me with an opportunity to race this weekend down in Riverside CA. I hate Riverside. Good Things about going to CA this weekend include: Seeing Family, travel perdium (our only source in income at the moment) and… thats about it. The negative side of things include: leaving my wife and cat and not being able to protect them from the zombies in our basement, missing school, my wife’s brain might get eaten, Riverside sucks, my cat will miss me, and I don’t think I’m in shape to finish an 8k right now. Wish me Luck.

     Since the end of track season I have moved up to Richland Washington to be with my fiance for a few months before we elope. Last summer I was in Provo, Rachael in washington, and it sucked. A Man has needs. I told myself never again. So here I am.  It’s been the whole summer since I have written a thing, which I know is a very sad fact for my 3 internet stalkers. Not a lot of exciting things have happened over the past couple of months so maybe its a good thing that I didn’t bore you with stories of wedding planning and hanging out with my lover. While being here I have become an employee at Kia Ora Fitness, The Gym owned and run my future in-laws. A classier gym you will never see, and I encourage all to get memberships, even if it is a good 2,000 mile commute for you. You won’t regret it. Since I’m not a certified trainer or anything cool like that, I have been put to work in the daycare and holy hell it is so exhausting/annoying/sometimes I want to blow my brains out and I would rather slit my wrists and do push ups is salt water than watch another episode Hannah Montana. It sounds bad, but if you have never worked with other people’s children than you just can’t know how I feel. I don’t consider myself a child hater by any means. I would like to have one or maybe two of my own some day. I am getting married so it is to be expected in the distant future. It’s just that there are about four kids in the daycare that make me say to myself ” If there is a slight chance in hell that I have a kid and it ends up like you, then I am never going to have children NEVER!!”. Dearest lover, when you are at the gyno ask to get the depo shot, Nuva ring, the pill and look into getting an an IUD. I’ll go find out how much a vasectomy is, and on the way back i’ll stop by Costco and by a box of condoms.

     Well my 2009 track season is over. I know I’m sad too. The regional meet was nothing like I have ever experienced before. A billion good runners + super big crowd + Eugene = one hell of a track meet apparently. I was more nervous than I have ever been on the morning preceding the big race. My  limbs were shaky mind was racing and so were my bowels(I counted 8 times in 4 hours). well at least I was lighter than ever right? The temperature in Eugene was 15 degrees higher than the average plus humidity made for close to miserable racing conditions.  I was confident going into the race, but sometimes thats just not enough. so anyway the race ended up going out super slow and I was stuck as the sacrificial lamb leading the majority of it. I  slowed the race down to an almost pedestrian 66 second pace in hopes that someone else would take the lead, nobody did. It all came down to who had the fastest 300m finish, and mine was just a tenth of a second slow from making the finals the next day. Looking back I would have done a few things different but whatever, I’ll just do better next season. The whole thing was a huge learning experience. Now I know what it’s like in the major meets and i’ll be more prepared for next year. 

Besides not making it to finals it was good to relax for the rest of the weekend with my dad and future wifee. saturday was spent watching the finals, the usual antics and desecration of sacred running spots. RIP Jose Meow Meow. AKA Steve Prefontain. Eugene exceeds all expectations and all stereotypes. Too many pot smoking, haven’t showed in weeks, organic eating folk for my taste. I’ll stick to california. Track and Field you can have Eugene.  

Since my season is over, now is a good time to include a few photos that I have neglected to put up from some of my races. Sort of a celebration. Enjoy.

Stanford Invitational. 3:46 run under the name Jason Witt.

 

Winning my race at the Mt SAC Relays. 3:45

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another shot from regionals.